Southern hemispherical me

A typical Simpson episode is playing (Bart vs. Australia). Bart is in the bathroom up to his usual antics. He suddenly notices that the water in the sink always drains out in the anti-clockwise direction. Enter Lisa. She painstakingly explains to him that, water always drains in the same way except in the Southern hemisphere. She attributed it to a little something called the ‘Coriolis effect’. Bart of course doesn’t believe her and the rest of the episode is dedicated to all the trouble he gets himself into trying to disprove his know-it-all sister’s hypothesis.

Somewhere during the usual Bart-Lisa squabble, I got to thinking. So often we forget that we are merely earthlings. People of the earth. And this very earth has such a great effect on us, on how we think, on how we act and on how we evolve. Every molecule in our body vibrates with a certain natural frequency solely because we live in the Northern hemisphere. For no other reason but that. How much in control are we then? Could most of our choices be pinned down to an unfortunate geography?

Would I be an entirely different person, if I travelled down under? Would I be an anti-me? Would I be making wise choices instead of the anti-clockwise ones I’ve been making from my high chair above the equator? Would my head be spinning around problems a whole different way and would my problems themselves be entirely anti to ones I now have?

Could it be, that the Southern me would have been someone I’d much rather be? Would the Southern me love donuts but hate reading? Would she have been a good swimmer but have unmanageably frizzy hair? Would she be thinking my anti-thoughts in an Aussie accent voice-over?

So many questions spinning in my head! Parallel universes, parallel hemispheres! Geographic and geometric kaleidoscopic realities!

Well, I guess the world is out to get us whether we’re one foot above or below that wretched line. So for now, all I can do is practice my pretend Aussie accent and hope for the best.

As the Southern Hemispherical me would say,

“Well Oil Beef Hooked!”

Advertisements